How long do you wait?

Thinking takes a while. I notice this when I'm leading a training session and ask a question. The nature of the topics I get into mean that the questions invite new thought or new observations rather than "THE answer".

I was advised, 20 ish yrs ago, that I should wait 7 seconds for someone to answer a question in a session. I got pretty comfortable with waiting, with silence, and with witnessing others' brief discomfort as I held on to the belief that it takes a while for people to process a question, notice what their thoughts are, how to articulate it, when to speak (and whether, in fact, to bother). Or to risk it (sharing new thoughts in public can make most of us feel pretty vulnerable).

I'd now say 7 seconds isn't long enough. I've waited far longer before assuming someone has nothing they want to contribute at that point.

It reminds me of a Best Man's speech where he said "I've known James for 20 years. And I've spent most of those years waiting for him." We could relate :)

I've led groups in training for 20 years and it seems I've spent most of those years waiting for people to think new thoughts. And to gather the courage to share them.

#PositiveConsciousImpact #Training #Coaching #Listening #TimeToThink #PsychologicalSafety #Leadership